Individual Success: Stop Beating Yourself UP! – You’re Doing Just Fine!


Success is a personal thing, we each allocate a level of success to individual tasks we accomplish throughout the day , through to enormous challenges that may take months possibly years to achieve. Not only do we decide if we have ‘succeeded’ we subconsciously set a standard to which we wish our success of the tasks to reflect.

From the moment we open our eyes we are subconsciously checking off routine unconscious actions/tasks, such as shower, brush teeth, prepare packed lunch, drive the car. Each of these actions has a set standardised level of success we personally allocate to it. The outcome/result of that task/action will impact on our emotive self.

Self sabotage is a trending term, many empowerment gurus use it, basically it suggests that the individual is using negative internal thoughts to prevent taking action. This is commonly seen when individuals attempt to move out of their ‘comfort zone’, take on new roles etc. It is primarily driven by fear, which is often a deep rooted emotion from our younger years, a learnt behaviour from our peers or those we held in high esteem.

Breaking inner fears can often provoke further fear and self sabotaging thoughts can become life controlling in as such they influence external behaviours and may potentially impact negatively on the individuals health.

So how do we stop ‘beating ourselves up’, stop setting unrealistic goals and crazy inner fear frenzies. Unfortunately there is no simple quick fix solution, but there are multiple proven techniques that have transformed individuals lives way beyond their own expectations.

Below are a few of my favourite self- help books that I have at some stages in my life referred to and developed from its content. It is important to remember that each one of us is individual and unique in our own styles and characteristics so not all the contents within the books will work, though I compiled my own self-help routine taking bits from multiple resources. I wish you well on your journey to finding your own success at a standard that is correct for you.

Discovering ‘Time for Self’….. Stress can Kill You….

Task Planning…… Find time fot You

‘OK, just one minute’…..
Stop do you seriously have one minute to spare?

Do you ever hear your inner voice saying “Dont worry what I don’t get dine today I can do tomorrow, after all no one is going to die, if I cant pick up the dry cleaning”

Stop and reflect on that simple in your head chat…….

Why is your day so full that you may not be able to get to the dry cleaners on time?

And to add a deeper aspect to this, what are your stress levels like?

You know as well as many other women out there, stress is a killer……

Time to rethink??????

Your time is a precious commodity, whether your single, in a relationship, parent, grandparent, business owner or employee, the one thing you all have in common is your day has 24 hours in it and nothing in the world can change that!

Do you wish you could find that extra time?

Are you running at full speed yet still left with tasks incomplete?

NBS work with many women who initially make contact to address their weight issues, yet when they embark on discovering the true causes of their weight concerns, ineffective time management is the biggest issue.

Here are some tips to get you started:

1. Know your goals.

Take a moment to consider what you truly wish to achieve, both short and long-term.

If your daily tasks are not supporting you to achieve your goals, they are potentially time-wasters.

2. Prioritise wisely.

Your daily tasks list should be in order of importance:

Important/Urgent – They must be done today!

Important/Not urgent – Could possible be done at another time?

Urgent/Not important – Try to see if you can delegate these to others or allocate a specific time in your day to complete these.

Not urgent/Not important – Do you really need to do them? What value will they bring to you?

3. Just say the word ‘No’.

Your life, your choice.
So many of us are fearful of the word ‘no’ as we concern ourselves with upsetting others, But did that person asking you to do a task, consider you and your responsibilities before they asked you? The answer is likely to be ‘No’

If you really do feel obliged or know that that task needs to be completed, check your list, allocate a time and if there is no time available for today, then explain you can complete the task tomorrow. Doing this will reduce any added stress to your daily tasks, and possibly reduce the stress of the person asking, as they will know there has been a definite time allocated to complete it by.

4. Plan ahead.

You will quickly see your day becoming a panic driven activity if you haven’t set off on the right foot. Prior to going to bed, write your tasks list and prioritise them. The read through to check they are all in the right order. Upon waking read your list, have a clear idea about what needs to be done. Hoping from one task to another and not being able to complete them will elevate your stress levels.

Here is how to plan:

  • The night before — At the end of the day, take 15 minutes to write a list of the next day’s most important tasks.
  • First thing in the morning — Look at your list. Take some deep breathes and focus. Create a mental map of the tasks and try to visualise how you will feel once the tasks are completed. This may prove to be the most productive part of your day.

5. Eliminate distractions.

How often are you interrupted? Why? are you too visible to others? Is social media distracting you? Do you have the necessary equipment required or have you had to stop the task to seek the things you require and become distracted along the way?

The smartphone is extremely useful, but it’s also addictive and among the most insidious time-wasters known to mankind. Place it away from where you are working or carrying out your important tasks. Add an automated message saying you will return the call as soon as possible.

It may take a massive exercise in will power, but shut the door and turn off your phone to maximise your time. Instead of being “always on,” plan a break in the day to catch up.

6. Delegate more often.

Delegation is a skill and many successful women are masters of this. Look for tasks that can be completed by others to free up some of your time.

7. Take care of yourself.

This by far is the most important of all, and the reason you are seeking more time.
Looking after yourself is your priority.

Look back at your daily task lists, how many of you actually wrote things like go to the gym, yoga session, mindfulness walk as priorities, or even meet friend for catch up?

You should be able to find at least 1 hour every day during the hours of 8am and 8pm to spend on yourself. If you become a master at task prioritising and allocation of tasks you may find 3-4 hours of available time for you.

This is not free time, and should never be referred to as this. It is your health and wellness time. After all if you fall ill, who will continue to do the tasks?

Be sure to get plenty of sleep and exercise. An alert mind is a high-functioning mind and one that’s less tolerant of time-wasting activities.

If you would like NBS to help you identify how to free up some of your time for ‘Health and wellness’ then contact us now.  

Visualisation: The key to success

Visualisation: The Key to Success

I hear you already questioning why you have bothered to click onto this page and in your mind you are already telling yourself it will be the same as everyone else’s blog posts, articles, videos whatever it is you have spent hours reading or watching. But wait this is different it is written by me. I am living proof that the tools I used are successful and didn’t cost me money I couldn’t afford to spend.

Like you I was desperately seeking some clarity in my life and a push in the right direction. What I didn’t want was to enrol on a course, become a member of a Facebook page or even read a full length e-book to be left still unsure of how to kick start my inner self-belief to restore my self-empowerment to benefit not only my personal life but my work life too.

Less than 2 years ago I was constantly worrying about paying bills. Buying school uniforms, finding money for school trips and even paying for food. I like you trawled the internet and after many hours and paying for courses I didn’t have the money for. I managed to turn my life around to now being a highly successful nutrition and life coach helping others change their lives for the better.

How did I do it, simple. I began to believe in myself. It was strange that the underlying message from so many others offering solutions provided exactly that message but it was hidden behind courses, books and expensive sign up fees. The difference between their business and mine, I give the solutions without all the bells and whistles.

I am sharing with you some simple self-help tips that will start you on your transformation journey to achieving your self-empowerment.

#1 See it or it won’t happen.

Simply picture your success. Stop seeing your-self as you are now. Picture how you look as a successful you. What you will wear, how you will stand and present yourself. Every time you open your purse or wallet see cash inside. When sitting in your car visualise holding the steering wheel of the car you want. Picture as many details as you can. Practice the visualisation on a daily basis, and you will begin to see changes, and your overall attitude will become more positive.

#2 Create it.

Seeing your future in your mind’s eye is a powerful tool, and to enhance that picture create a real picture to look at. By finding images of your goals you are also tuning your mind into accepting the images as real. I created my vision board with magazine cuttings, internet images and photographs I had that stirred happy thoughts and memories. I added quotes to read each day and affirmations that boosted my moral.

Your vision board is one that will change. I still have a few images on my current one that featured on my first. I am a realist and accept that changes may be slower than others, though the car I drive now is far better than the one I used to own.

Place the vision board where you will see it every day, if you have your own office or dressing room that is perfect.

By following #1 and #2 on a daily basis you are feeding your mind with happy thoughts and loving memories that inspire and I am sure make you smile. Smiling reduces your stress hormones and in response to that your whole body begins to rebalance.

Before I move on, beware of negative comments from others. I made a mistake of telling those who I considered friends what I was doing to only be met with negative feedback, which started to plant doubt in my mind. So when I was picturing my future self and looking at mu vision board, the doubt crept in and my smiles were suppressed with a frown. I am not saying don’t share your dreams, but until the positive changes start to show, keep it to yourself. They will soon be asking why you are looking so happy and healthy and asking what your secret is. Then if you wish to do so, you can share.

#3 Write it down.

You may be thinking that this is all great but have no idea what you truly want, what your future self looks like. Don’t worry, here are some suggestions to help you find how your future may look.

If you are employed, do you want promotion? If yes to what? And why. If you want a holiday once a year, where to and why?. Need to earn more money, how much and what would your life look like then? Unhappy in your relationship? Why? What would make it better? How does your ideal relationship look?

Once your picture is clear in your head, on the vision board and written down you now need to make the new you. You need to set time frames and tools in place.

#4 Short term.

These have to be clear in order for the long term goals to be achieved. It is like writing a sentence, we need to accomplish spelling the word correctly before we put them all together. A misspelt sentence provides a poor basis for the paragraph; you get my drift.

If you want a Bently but don’t have a home with a driveway, then the car will be trashed, so work on the house first. If you want to be the area sales manager, hit your own targets consistently before applying for the promotion. Struggling to pay bills, complete a money assessment, find areas to save, then look at changing jobs if necessary or promotion etc.

It is so important to make sure that every short term goal you set has a realistic outcome and something you can show that goal has been reached.

Business usually identifies profit as its success, personal success may be time for self or family, or even better health. Being clear in your goal enables you to stay focused and less likely to miss hitting your goal.

A future is not a Dream

Dreams require Action to make them Real


If you would like me to help you work on your goals and improve your self-empowerment to achieve company targets, improve your relationships, manage your time more effectively, book your 1:1 consultation now.